The Green Green Grass of Home

Who would have thought I’d ever be grateful for the chance to leave the house at 8:00a.m. on a Saturday to go for a swim! Life after kids, eh? Last week we had a house full of friends, none of whom have kids (yet) and I was a tad jealous of their long lie-ins. But the next best thing to a long lie-in is a few hours (well, okay almost two) of solitude.

I’m finally exercising again. It’s been a long time. Basically I didn’t do much, if any, while pregnant with Lev. Then we were in Russia – Piter doesn’t lend itself to outdoor exercise and it is extortionate to join a gym. A month after we moved back I got pregnant again. Anna is now almost five months old so I’m back in the game. I’ve been for one run (and bought myself a heart-rate monitor so now I have to be committed), have gone for a couple rigorous and a few not-so-rigorous hikes and have made it to the local pool three times in the last couple of weeks.

Hard to know how to describe the ‘swimming’. No one here has caught on to the idea of lane swimming. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is! The reason I like swimming is the solitude. I go into a meditative state. I think best when I’m swimming. I used to love it for processing PhD material. So suffice it to say that I ain’t getting a lot of ‘solitude’ or getting into a groove here because I’m constantly watching out for other swimmers. It was better today – the Saturday morning group are more ‘serious’ swimmers so most everyone at least has the desire to swim lanes which makes things slightly less chaotic.

Being unable to think only of myself (or think full stop) in the pool is not without its ironic side since this was my precious ‘me’ time. Derek and I had one of those ‘parents with children’ discussions last night. Like most couples in our situation, I suspect, the grass is always greener on the respective spouse’s side. Those of us who look after kids, which is basically a 7-7 or more job, would jump at the chance for a day or two in the ‘office’. Although admittedly it’s mostly a hard slog combined with the pressure of providing, we wouldn’t be continually on the look-out for someone (or two) other than ourselves. And we’d get the buzz that comes from mentally stimulating stuff that occasionally happens amidst the drudgery. And those of us who work hard to put bread on the table would jump at the chance to leave the desk and computer screen to take the kids for a walk in the park and stop for a cup of tea before coming home to hang out the laundry and whip up a delicious meal for the fam-damly. Bliss, despite little adult camaraderie, no chance to really ‘relax’ over that cuppa, and the fact that when the wee ones do nap you’re usually too knackered to enjoy the ‘me’ time and end up napping yourself. Sound familiar?

When I wasn’t head dodging this morning, my thoughts centred on such issues and I was increasingly convinced that the ideal situation – well, I’ll speak for my family – is one in which both parents get to share the bread-winning and the childcare. Then each would get a bit of both worlds and be able to enjoy the advantages and endure the disadvantages of each, making us both less envious and more empathetic to the other’s world. In the meantime, I think the best tonic is to buck up and dwell as contentedly as possible in our respective worlds, making the most of the greenery that is ours. Speaking of mine, I hear a little girl who has just woken up from her nap…